No matter how big or small your family is, you’re bound to see almost all of your family members on Christmas. From the wacky ones, to the favourite ones, to the annoying ones, you all come together on this exciting, happy, and slightly stressful day. Like a game of celebrity heads – but the family edition – we’ve compiled a list of the typical relatives you’ll be subjected to see this festive season.
The Questions Master
This great-auntie asks you the same questions every Christmas – “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”, “What are you doing with yourself?”, “When are you having children?” and “What is your plan for the next ten years?”.
The Tickle Monster
He’s that uncle you used to dread seeing because you knew that he was going to tickle you until you just about peed your pants. You probably even have slight PTSD; those tickles were deadly and infectiously hilarious.
The No Such Thing As A Diet Eater
It’s like they want you to be fat. They cook all your favourite desserts so you can’t say no to any of it, no matter how full you are. Say goodbye to your well-trained self-control, and hello to some much-needed New Year’s resolutions.
The Squeezer
Even though your great grandma is ninety-five years old, she still manages to squeeze you until you just about pop like a balloon. And yes, she’ll continue to squeeze your hands, your cheeks, your arms and every exposed body limb for the rest of the day.
The Serial Present Giver
You have about six mugs, five towels, and three snow globes from this uncle… and so do all your cousins and siblings because apparently he buys everything in bulk. At least his gifts are somewhat practical.
The Hyperactive Nugget
There is always that one younger cousin who never sits still. Their parents always leave you in charge of taking care of them, so for the whole day you’re just chasing them around left, right and centre, trying to lure them back into the house with cake and presents.
The Storyteller
The auntie who loves to tell childhood stories about each individual in the family, but you never know how true the stories are because she tends to exaggerate A LOT. Honestly though, it doesn’t really matter because it makes for a great laugh.
The Too Cool For School
This is the cousin who is always pouting and wearing sunglasses indoors. They are the worst cousin to buy presents for because nothing seems to impress them. You could buy them a motorbike or a seaplane and you still wouldn’t know if they liked it.
The Human Garbage Can
Left-overs don’t exist when they’re around because they stand near the table, eating for the whole day. If you want seconds, you better get them fast! Maybe even pack yourself a box for later and hide it far, far away.
The Cousin Who Should Be Your Sibling
You swear you were both separated at birth. No matter how long it’s been since you last see them, you always continue where you left off. Your whole conversation is an inside joke and you hang out with each other pretty much the entire day.
The Happy Hour Starts At 10am Aunt
You know the one; she is the auntie that arrives with a drink already in her hand. She claims she’s at the bar making drinks for everyone, but we all know they are actually for her.
