Unfortunately our unhealthy online shopping habit (ok, fine “addiction”) has left us flat broke until payday. Which means our Saturday night plans have gone to shit. We were planning on spending the night at our fave club, sipping lush cocktails and ignoring cute guys, because, let’s be real, we’d rather hit up the dfloor with the girls. But we like to try and stay positive here at Embrace, and on the bright side, at least we won’t be waking up on Sunday afternoon with a throbbing headache and a craving for everything on Ubereats. So, if we’re not going out, what the hell are we going to get up to on Saturday night, you ask? Good question. It took 4 coffees and a whole lotta brainpower, but we finally managed to come up with some not-so-terrible ideas.

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Be the artist, not the muse
All for one and one for all. If you have to spend your night in, your best mates should have to too. They’ll resist the idea. We recommend dropping “remember that really embarrassing thing you did that I kept a secret” or maybe send them on a not-so-subtle guilt trip with “I didn’t really want to help you move all your furniture either, but that’s what friends are for”. Once you’ve got them wavering on their plans, invite them round to get creative. There’s nothing more empowering than opting to stay in and spending the night with your favourite ladies, painting pretty things or making macrame plant hangers. And, you can’t really paint without sipping on a glass of wine. It’s scientifically proven to get your creative juices flowing, look it up.

Spend big! (with paper money…)
OW YEAH. You guessed it, we’re talking about a good old game of Monopoly folks. That is, assuming you haven’t suffered the childhood trauma of a family member embezzling money and winning every goddamn time (here’s looking at you, little brother). If you can’t play Monopoly without flipping your shit, or the board, no stress, there’s plenty of other, less hazardous games for you. Pictionary, for example, has zero risk of perpetuating a domestic dispute… But seriously, some people really need to learn how to draw.

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Sleep, bc sleeping’s pretty fkn great
Call us boring, but there’s nothing we love more than a dreamy snooze. Nothing can top it. And hey, if prince charming happened to wake us with a reviving kiss, we’d be okay with that too, as long as he took us out for Sunday brunch after.

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
While you’re avoiding a night out in the city, why not skip town altogether and spend the weekend camping. I know, I know, what could possibly be fun about spending the night stranded in the middle of nowhere without the comfort of a flushing toilet? It’s a good opportunity to get some quality time with your mates sitting ‘round the fire, telling stories, toasting a marshmallow or two. Plus, it’s not like we have wild bears roaming around here in Australia. Nah, we just have dingoes, snakes, spiders… scratch that, don’t go camping, it’s fkn wild out there, you will die!

Evelyn Butcher

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