The phrase ‘you are what you eat’ is accurate on so many levels. Examining what someone orders for breakfast or brunch is the best way to judge their character. You might even learn a thing or two about yourself.
While you like to come across as ‘down to earth,’ you cut off contact with your friends after finding out they don’t buy Fairtrade coffee.
Ham and Cheese Croissant
You stopped checking out the cute guy at work when you found out that he was lactose intolerant. If a guy is incapable of eating carbonara or hazelnut gelato, then he’s not worth your time.
You’re unsure why reading on the toilet isn’t more socially acceptable or why carrot cake isn’t considered a vegetable. You have also genuinely considered getting married at your local Bunnings and you’re waiting for the right person to walk down the Outdoor Living aisle with you.
Your last relationship ended because they didn’t use the yoga mat you bought them for their birthday. And you struggle to make friends with people because you substitute chocolate chips for sultanas in everything that you bake.
You are enthusiastic about autumn, snuggling in bed with a book and looking at pictures of dogs. And while you don’t mean to brag, you have a large collection of novelty socks.
You recognise that you’re too old for Coco Pops, but you’re too cool for boring adult concepts like reading newspapers and eating 5 serves of veggies each day. It took you too many years to learn that Santa isn’t real.
You haven’t spoken to your sister for three years after she borrowed your favourite dress and spilt coffee on it. Most of your pay goes straight into bath bombs and shoes. Despite your fun and free-spirited personality, you’re deathly afraid of rollercoasters.
90% of your time spent at the gym is taking selfies of yourself. The other 10% of your time is spent complaining that the protein balls don’t have enough chia seeds.
You’re the ‘mum friend’ and you’re obsessed with reality TV shows. You could also never have a relationship with a cat person.
Bacon and Eggs
You always bring your own snacks into the cinema and loudly declare that paying $7 for Fatales is borderline extortion. Although you have a tough exterior, you cried when Dobby died in Harry Potter and still haven’t managed to get over it.
You were obsessed with horses in primary school but have never been able to afford one. While you’ve always dreamed of having your own herb garden, this is unrealistic because you literally have killed every plant you touch.