ABOUT THE WRITER: Thomas Clark loves being calm so he can read poetry better and write better poetry.
STAR WARS fans, Siths, Jedis, Leia-look-alikes, nerds, geeks and android-wannabes: rejoice. This is the STAR WARS you’re looking for. Since the epic space opera saga was first released thirty-eight years ago, it has become the pioneer of popular culture, spurring Jar-Jar Binks tattoos, Hans Solo Carbonite refrigerator doors, books, comics, games, toys, bed linen, underwear and even a touring exhibit throughout the US – which you can read about here. Never has a movie in the history of cinema been so eagerly anticipated, with our ardour fanned by teaser trailers and previews – where you can revisit the journey of, here. THE FORCE AWAKENS has pulled every person on earth into its colossal gravitational pull with a hype bordering on insanity. It’s a trap, and it’s too late to turn back. Only at the end do you realise the power of the dark side. The circle is now complete. As THE FORCE AWAKENS the world with the latest release directed by JJ Abrams in cinemas everywhere, we’ve tracked down all the ways on HOW TO STAR WARS.
DON’T SPOILT IT
The ‘I am your father’ moment from THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK remains one of the greatest twists in the history of cinema. Beat the spoiler spruiking trolls at their own game with this Spoiler Blocking Tutorial. The next best spoiler blocker after that is to simply book tickets and see the movie itself. Before heading full social media blackout though, let everyone know The Force is strong and add a light saber to your facebook profile picture from here to Try It.
LOOK THE PART
Look the part with Disguises Costumes from Woolloongabba, featuring the largest selection of the STAR WARS empire outfits to get your Wookie on. Alternatively, head to Black Milk and grab anything sexily lycra.
With more than 170 screenings in the first 24-hours of release on the Gold Coast alone, go Gold Class, VMax and 3D experiences from Event Cinemas all around the country with tickets available available from here. Palace Cinemas are onboard with the Millenium Falcon, with a healthy rotation of sessions programmed daily with tickets and details available here. And not to be left out, New Farm Cinemas have a load of sessions available across their six cinemas. Or appreciate STAR WARS with a good view of the universe. The Yatala Drive-In offers the ultimate view that puts the movie in perspective from beneath the stars themselves.
For those who like to delve a bit deeper, ELSTREE 1976is out there as a documentary exploring the stories of the unseen performers. Named after the UK Borehamwood Studio and year from which it was originally shot, listen to tales from voice-artists, extras and unknown performers who donned Stormtrooper masks or Rebel helmets as well as the aliens from other worlds and The Cantina of the original triology. More details about ELSTREE 1976 available here.
The STAR WARS: The Complete Saga is available in historical or numerical order.
For the ultimate experience, watch The Machete Version:
VI: A NEW HOPE
VII: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
I: THE PHANTOM MENACE
III: REVENGE OF THE SITH
VIII: RETURN OF THE JEDI
– Yep. Forget II ATTACK OF THE CLONES. Don’t regret losing those 142 minutes ever again.
STAR WARS EVENTS
Tonight from 6pm, hit The Brightside in the Valley for STAR WARS trivia. It’s free and willing. On Saturday December 19, get a cultural fix as the Queensland Philharmonia Orchestra conducted by Guy Noble presents the John Williams Spectacular from theOld Museum in Bowen Hills.Enjoy tracks ‘The Imperial March’, ‘Duel of the Fates’, ‘Leia’s Theme’ and The Main Title as well as music from JURASSIC PARK, ET, and SUPERMAN performed live by a full-sized symphony orchestra with tickets available here. On the same night from the Valley, Bertie Page’s Star Wars Xmas Special presents a parody with music, comedy and burlesque from the New Globe Theatre with tickets available here.
JOIN THE DARK SIDE
As Stereosonic is the ultimate day for Brusses, the release of STAR WARS is the holy of days for the 501st Legion: the world’s definitive Imperial Costuming Organisation. As an all-volunteer organisation uniting costume enthusiasts under a collective identity, Queensland’s Redback Garrison build and wear high-quality costumes that look just like they’ve walked off the set – and we’re talking serious get-ups here. They infiltrate the community and help charities such as the Bridge to Brisbane or MS Moonlight Walk while also appearing at pop culture events like Supanova, to positively promote a galaxy far far away. From marching in Queen Street Mall to appearing at STAR WARS events across the next few weeks, check where they’ll be in attendance here – if only to get a selfie with a propa Storm Trooper.
Merlo Coffee is keeping things wide-eyed and bushy tailed with all the Java (the Hutt) the universe can handle. Distant cousin to wookie warrior Chewbacca, Black Bear Cold Press Coffee is strong enough to keep Jedis, Storm Troopers and Dark Lords going for days. Join the dark side with a Merlo long black – particularly with Merlo’s Bean of The Month, which you can read all about here. Use The Froth.
From South Brisbane’s CBD Café Bar Dining, take the edge off with the range of STAR WARS-inspired cocktails, such as ‘The Jedi Master’, ‘Sith Lord’ and ‘Empire Strikes Back’.
On the beer side, sibling breweries Fortitude Brewing Company and Noisy Minor Brewery have released a limited availability of Admiral Ackbar Imperial Red Ale. Warming and malty with Nelson Sauvin and Citra Hops, this big hoppy red ale is not too bitter, nor an IPLA. Release the rebel within and find it on tap from many good bar establishments, including Tomahawk Bar, South Bank, Brewski, Petrie Terrace and The Gresham in the city. Gresham’s Venue Manager Ryan Lane is happy to chat all sides of The Force on any given hour.
Eat well and be Mon Calamari. Go high tech in China Town and order Japanese from the screen at Wagaya Brisbanein Fortitude Valley. The place gets super busy so book ahead. Alternatively, head down the Mall to Cyber City, the ultimate Chinese restaurant that also has beer, karaoke, video games and pool, until late in the night.
HUTT THE BOOKS
Second hand bookstores and comic book stores are ideal for top reads. Hard invertebrates can hit Archives Fine Books in The City, Bent Books in West End or Novel Lines in Paddington. Go comics with Ace Comics on Queen Street, and Comics Etc and Daily Planet on Elizabeth Street. Learn to speak Wookie or order The Star Wars Cook Book: Wookie Cookies And Other Galactic Recipes online.
GO GADGET STAR WARS
For gadget gungans, JB HiFi anywhere and Jaycar Electronics from Woolloongabba indulge all technological savants. Make note: Jaycar’s light sabers for under the $50 mark are the absolute bomb. The Complete Saga is usually available on Blu-ray at any JB HiFi Store but make first contact with a phone call. Technological thrill seekers can indulge at the mecca of gizmos The Apple Store. Online shoppers can jump onto ThinkGeek for R2D2 USB Car chargers, Star Wars Family Decals, Star Wars Cookbook and Removable Blade Lightsabers or the part droid, part soccer ball, part app enabled BB-8.
LEGO STAR WARS
The retro-loving fan is never too old for Lego. Indulge in the iconic ubiquitous brick exhibit with the Brickman Experience from the BCEC. As Australia’s biggest LEGO exhibition for all ages, Certified LEGO® professional Ryan McNaught presents the biggest ever Star Wars LEGO® build. Then go to where everything is awesome in South Brisbane to the LEGO® Educational Learning Centre for serious fun.
STAR WARS is everything with games. EB Gamesgenerally have pre-loved editions of Lego STAR WARS The Complete Saga, The Force Unleashed, Kinect STAR WARS and other games to claim. Of course, STAR WARS BATTLEFRONT and the limited edition PS4 console and controllers are out. Or revisit the best games in the universe and unearth PC’s Xwing Alliance. Nintendo is the nerve centre of all things wars in the stars, with Nintendo Lego: The Clone Wars, Super Nintendo STAR WARS, Nintendo 64 STAR WARS Episode 1 Racer, Nintendo Gamecube Rogue Leader and Rogue Squadron Rebel Strike. Or jump into the 21st Century and play STAR WARS Tiny Death Star on your smartphone. Go forth and play.
NERD IT UP
Sir Thomas Brisbane Planetarium at Mt Coot-tha Gardens features the hottest stars in the universe. Geek it out at The Queensland Museum Sciencentre in South Bank daily. Head to The Valley to Guf Brisbane Internet Gaming Cafe for your cyber gaming fix.
DIY OR DO NOT
Go forth and hire the STAR WARS Themed Jumping Castle for a few hours. Get all crafty with Make It Hobby n Craft and an array of STAR WARS-themed fabrics from the classic to the current. Go on a shopping trip to the ABC Shop for all things galactic from playing cards to cookie jars. Lounge on a Death Star Bean Bag available from Pottery Barn Kids near James Street Markets. Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.