The Strung Out Parent
Also known as “the pacer”. They’ve got the toys, the books, the blanket, the iPad, and when all else fails, they end up pacing the aisles of the airplane bouncing the kid up and down to try and calm them. Let’s give these parents the respect that they deserve. I know the last place I would want to be is stuck in a metal tube in the sky with a crying/screaming child while 200 other adult passengers glare at you with both annoyance and pity.
The Beauty Therapist
They get out all their beauty bits and bobs before the plane even takes off. These people wear face masks unapologetically. Take care around these people when they’re going through their beauty routine, there is a potential splash zone around them when it comes to toning. Pro: they smell nice. Con: they will definitely scare you when the cabin lights dim and you see them wearing a face mask.
The Arrogant Recliner
These people throw consideration and compassion to the wind and recline their seat as quickly as they can after taking off. These people care little for cramped legs behind them and see a one-hour flight as the perfect opportunity to make full use of the reclined position of their seat. Beware and avoid these people at all costs. Better yet you should invest in a recliner blocking device (yes, they do really exist) and take back the control over your personal space.
The Nervous Flyer
These people have an anxious aura surrounding them that seems to affect the passengers closest to them. Every slight shake of the plane causes these people to immediately grip the armrests and look around at the other passengers for reassurance that the plane isn’t about to hurtle to its demise. These people have the tendency to nervously look out the window and like to ask paranoid structural questions like, “Is the wing supposed to bounce like that?”, “Is it supposed to make that noise?”.
The Instagrammer
The ‘Instagrammer’ always sit in a window seat while flying economy and makes the point of choosing the seat that has a view of the plane’s wing in shot just so their followers can know that the picture was indeed taken from inside a plane. These people treat countries like people just to be extra tacky. “Thanks for the great time Brisbane, you’ve been awesome but Sydney is calling my name.”
The Crazy Kid
These are the children of those parents that have just given up. It’s like these parents walk onto the plane and decide that they’re no longer in charge of their children for the duration of the fight. These kids subsequently let loose and anger every single other passenger on the plane by kicking seats, screaming at each other and asking the most annoying question in the world, “Are we there yet?”.
The Loud Person
The ‘Loud Person’ seemingly ignores all social conventions that are in place when you’re in an enclosed space with 200 other people. They carry on conversations in the loudest voices possible and laugh loudly at anything, especially movies. These people are inevitably the ones that snore and also like to listen to their music or movies at such a loud volume that the entire plane can hear.
